


Lost in the Dream

by Kasbaka



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, Psychological Trauma, Soul Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:28:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24816112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kasbaka/pseuds/Kasbaka
Summary: This reset was particularly hard on Sans. He'd lost everything that finally made him happy.
Relationships: Sans/Sans (Undertale)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 50





	Lost in the Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Very tiny mention to my other fic "Bitter Hearts" where Edge is hurt by humans. Not a necessary read for this though!

It must have only been a few minutes.

He had been working on something. What was he working on? He couldn’t remember. He had only fallen asleep for a few minutes…

He felt the heavy dregs of exhaustion deep in his bones. He held his hand to his face and looked at it clinically. It felt detached from him, but it wasn’t. It was trembling though.

Hmm, that’s ok. He can work with that.

Where was he, again? He looked around slowly. Trash tornado, check. Worn, bare mattress, check. Socks all over the floor, check.

Home.

He smiled, relieved. Whatever he had been doing couldn’t have been that important. Quick trip to Grillby’s for some grub and he’d be good as new. Maybe he’d even put in a few hours at the sentry station. That would make Papyrus happy. Look at him, doing the good bro thing.

Sans pulled himself up to a standing position; his legs felt as heavy and useless as his arms. He steadied his head with his hand, the effort of moving taking more of a toll than he anticipated. Felt like his head was full of cobwebs. His slippers scuffed across the floor as he moved to leave his own room and drag himself down the hall to his brothers.

He rapped his knuckles against the door. Knock knock. He grinned as he waiting for a response. None came. That’s alright, he was a helpful guy.

“who’s there, you ask? ketchup.”

No response.

“ketchup who? ketchup with me and i’ll tell ya!” Sans chuckled. The classics never went out of style. He waited a few moments, but didn’t hear the telltale painful groan his brother always supplied after a good joke. Was it already time for him to meet up with Undyne? Sans shrugged to himself and moved on.

He went downstairs and glanced around; pet rock was fed, sticky note in place. Good, everything where it should be. He stepped outside into the cool breeze of Snowdin. The real question was whether to get a burger or fries today--

Sans eyelights shrank to pinpoints and he felt his soul sink.

Snowdin was empty. The street desolate. No kids running down the street, no sounds of pleasant chatter from gossiping bunnies. The homes were dark and appeared abandoned.

No, it couldn’t be. Was this… a genocide run? Had he been reset again? When did this happen? He gripped his shirt above his soul, feeling panic begin to pull at him. He forced himself to breathe as the edges of his vision darkened. Nothing good would come from losing his grip now. He hurried down the street towards the one place there was always signs of life.

He pushed his way into Grillby’s, but instead of the pleasant warmth of fire and friends, there was nothing. It was quiet. Dark. There was a haunted feel to it that caused a shiver to run up Sans spine.

“Grillby?” Sans called out. There was no answer. He dared to step forward. The irrational part of his mind could still see the regulars at their tables, playing cards and laughing. He could still see Grillby, one of his dearest friends, polishing spots off the glasses behind the bar. When he reached his hand towards him, the vision dispersed, leaving Sans standing alone and reaching towards nothing but his own desperation.

The silence was deafening. He fled.

Snowdin felt colder than normal. Sans pulled his jacket tighter against himself, curling into it. It did nothing to warm the unbearable cold he felt in his soul. Not far from here is where Papyrus makes his stand against the human kid. He always insisted on Mercy. There were timelines that Sans begged and pleaded for Papyrus to Fight. He was so strong and cool, he could win! And his brother always smiled, every time. He would tell Sans that the easiest path was not the right one, and seeing the best in others, no matter how slim, was the real fight. He told Sans to believe in him. There was never a timeline that Sans could deny him that.

He must have walked to the spot of his brother’s death, although he couldn’t remember doing so. He gazed at the snow, looking for the dust. But he saw nothing. It must have been some time ago. When he tried to remember, his mind felt empty. He couldn’t seem to form logical thought past his grief. After doing this so many times, he figured it’d eventually get a little easier, but it didn’t. It really didn’t.

There was nothing to see here.

One more place to check before he moved on. The lab at home might offer some clues as to what was happening. He pushed his way through the village, each step heavier than the last. It was nearly impossible to ignore the pull he felt in his bones; the one that tempted him to simply lie down and close his eyes until the snow covered him. To let all his problems drift away with the breeze. He shook his head, pressing forward.

The door squeaked on its hinges from disuse. Sans hit the lights, still glowing strong thanks to the Core power. He hesitated a moment at the threshold; the lab had a way of sucking the life from him. He’d spent many sleepless, self-depreciating nights here. The covered machine took up the majority of the room. It reminded him of the night Edge and Red had crossed over…

Wait.

He…remembered them?

Sans and Red had theorized how the effects of the machine would alter future resets. Technically, those two weren’t of this timeline, only a parallel one. Would they simply disappear? Be thrown back to their own universe? Or would they be recognized as ‘Sans and Papyrus’ and continue on within this loop? Sans pulled at the cloth covering the machine, letting it drop to the floor.

To say the machine had seen better days was an understatement. Sans had worked relentlessly on it, attempting every combination of mechanical ingenuity and theoretical coordinates that he could. But it had been like reaching to touch the stars. He would never find the answer that would lead him and his brother to a safer life. They were stuck in this hellhole, doomed to live as puppets to the whims of a curious and morally questionable human child. That was, until it finally worked. Except instead of finding a better universe for themselves, they became a place of refuge. Edge and Red had forced themselves through the gateway, stumbling ungracefully to the floor, the silence of the lab suddenly erupt with the clamor and chaos of the other side. And Edge, never one to hesitate, slammed shut that door in an eruption of scrap metal and red bone. The machine would never be fixed from its state.

Sans stared at the destroyed machine, another conundrum that the last few firing synapses of his exhausted mind wouldn’t be able to piece together. He turned to the drawers, ruffling through them but only finding old information on various monsters and other timelines. He couldn’t even be sure how many times he’d done this. Had they reset before with Red and Edge and he simply didn’t remember doing it all again?

He slid his back down the wall and sat on the cold tile. His head felt like it could split open. There were no answers here, only more questions. He couldn’t do it. He drew his knees to his chest and rest his skull in his arms.

He wanted to eat Papyrus’ spaghetti. Wanted to buy cat toys for Edge and see him entertain the strays. Wanted to stay past closing at Grillby’s, sharing drinks and jokes. Wanted to…see Red again. He felt the wetness of tears run down his face.

Sans muddled mind couldn’t seem to piece together solid memories with Red, only snippets of times that had brought him joy. Tracking the stars, laughing over shitty magazines, a string of puns so astounding that both their brothers threatened disownment. A stolen kiss that left Red flushed with magic so pretty that he set the picture as his phone background. He pulled the device from his pocket, but it was unsurprisingly dead. He threw it to the floor away from himself.

It could have been minutes, hours, or days that he stayed there, unmoving. Eventually the tightness in his soul turned to a dull ache. The tears stopped. He stood and knew deep down that he was nothing more than a dead thing. It was for the best, he had work to do.

One quick shortcut to Judgement Hall and he was ready. It was difficult to keep his eyes open, so he didn’t bother. Perhaps if he fell asleep standing here the kid could walk right up to him and make it a real quick battle. He scoffed, “as if i’d make it that easy for you.” His voice was too loud in the silence of the large hall.

It was some time, but eventually the telltale sound of shoes entering the room caused him to tense. Sans sighed, “let’s just get to the point.” He called on his magic, the signature sound of his gaster blasters charging filled the room. He didn’t hold back, there was no reason to. The blasts tore through the hall and he immediately followed the attack with a wave of bones so numerous that the kid couldn’t possibly dodge them unscathed. He paused, looking for blood or movement.

“Heh, pretty impressive set of bones there, honey.”

Sans eyelight flared as he whipped around, not expecting a voice behind him. He reflexively pulled a wave of bones up from the floor, but they met nothing.

“What the hell?” Sans voice trembled.

“Hey now, I thought ya had some Mercy in ya? Go easy on me, Sansy.” The deep familiarity of the gruff voice shook Sans to his soul. His left arm, still outstretched in preparation to call on his blue magic, began to falter and shake.

Red was grinning when he slowly moved around the pillar he’d taken shelter behind, his hands raised up on his sides in a joking ‘I surrender’ fashion. His grin faded at the look on Sans face. He was sweating, shaking, and looked like he’d just seen a ghost. And not the friendly music loving kind.

Red took cautious steps towards the other, as if approaching a skittish animal. “It’s alright, sweetheart. Whatever ya think is happenin’ right now, it’s over. Let me have ya.”

Sans stared in disbelief at the skeleton in front of him. It felt like a cruel trick of the mind, but one he wanted so badly. Hope was the most painful weapon of all. He took a tentative step back, but was too slow to escape. Once Red’s tight grip was on his arms, holding him from any further retreat, it was like all the fight was drained out of him. Sans shook so badly he could hear the rattling. Red pulled him close against his chest, resting their skulls together.

“I’ve got ya. Shouldn’t be here all alone. Really fucks with yer head, doesn’t it?”

“but everyone is…is-”

“Safe. On the surface. Yer bro is fine. We haven’t heard from ya all week since ya went to Alphys’ place. Ya let yer phone die again.”

Sans wrapped his arms tightly around the other. Now that he had him, he wasn’t about to let him go. “i was with Alphys? but why? i…can’t remember.”

“Working on that security system to set up around the city.”

It was like a slap in the face. The security system! How could he forget? He was such an _idiot!_ There had been an incident with Edge; he’d nearly died. And Sans was desperate to ensure it wouldn’t happen again. He’d consulted with Alphys to design a system similar to what she’d used in the Underground. But it had to be more extensive, better than what they’d used previously. It had to be _perfect._

So, Sans packed a bag and moved into Alphys’ workshop. He worked without sleep, without food, obsessing over every detail. How could he rest when his friends’ lives were in danger? Not that Alphys hadn’t tried to help, her quiet suggestion to stop the first night and have a quick bite of instant ramen. Sans had become impatient waiting for the water to boil and quickly abandoned any notion of rest or food after that.

But that had been _ages_ ago! It felt like a lifetime since then.

“C’mon hun, I’m takin’ ya home. Ya need t’rest.” Red’s tone left no space for negotiation. When Sans next blinked, they were in his room. It was dark. He could hear the familiar clatter of cookware coming from the kitchen downstairs.

“Oh…” Sans gripped at his shirt, the drop of adrenaline he’d been running on hitting him in full force at the confirmation that he had not been reset. Red gently pushed him back until he was sitting on the edge of the bed. He stripped the other of his jacket and slippers and tossed them aside.

The dull pale glow of Sans magic and darkness around his eye sockets made Red huff to himself. He hadn’t taken care of himself at all. They needed rest, particularly with how low their HP was. But Sans was notoriously stubborn, not accepting his own limitations until they slapped him in the face. Most times Red found it an attractive quality, but not when it became self-destructive.

Red kicked off his own shoes and climbed into bed, wrapping his arm around the other to pull him down. Sans instinctively moved in closer to the warmth Red radiated. He enjoyed being pressed as close as possible, intertwining their bones as much as he could manage. It was best when Red was on top of him, pushing him into the mattress.

Sans pulled Red down to kiss him. It was slow and thoughtful, small lazy kisses that built more warmth between them. But Sans quickly demanded more, licking his tongue against Red’s teeth to encourage him to part them. Red obliged, the first contact of their magic together drawing a quiet sigh from the exhausted skeleton.

Sans gripped Red’s jacket, pulling him so he was half on top of Sans already, and the weight of it felt good on his bones. He wanted more.

Red knew Sans wasn’t in the condition for much tonight. He’d been through a lot and was physically and emotionally drained. He could tell by the way Sans magic was barely sustaining itself as they kissed. But Sans needed the reassurance of physical touch. Red understood. After years of resets and mixed memories, sometimes the only thing you could trust was what was right in front of you. Something to grab onto. And tonight, that was Red.

He felt Sans grip onto his hips and pull them together in a light grind. Red resituated himself so his mouth was comfortably buried against Sans cervical vertebrae, pressing kisses and licks to the dulled magic of his joints. Sans groaned, feeling himself unwind at the mercy of Red’s mouth. He had a way of being everywhere at once, and it felt good to be overwhelmed with the sensation of it.

The bottom of Sans shirt was grabbed and pulled over his head, tossed carelessly to the floor. Red managed to pull his own jacket off before Sans grabbed onto Red’s spine and pulled him back. He ran his fingers along the bone, unwilling to spend more than a moment without his hands on the other. As if he’d disappear the second he let go.

“I’m not goin’ anywhere, sweetheart.” Red whispered as he situated himself fully on top of Sans, his arms framing the other’s skull so he could only focus on the soothing red glow in front of him. Sans lifted his head to encourage the other to kiss him again. Red was happy to distract Sans as his hand slowly wandered down under Sans ribs to seek out what he wanted.

The first firm grip around his soul caused Sans to let out a startled gasp. Red’s smirk grew mischievous as he pulled the precious thing up between them. He could feel the pulsing of Sans excitement, and it made his own body respond in kind. He carefully hid his expression when he saw another small crack had formed between the others he was intimately familiar with. But that was a problem for tomorrow.

Red tenderly nuzzled the soft glowing item and Sans shivered, his grip tightening on the back of Red’s ribs where his hands had settled.

“Do ya want it, Sans?”

“p-please…”

The expression in Red’s eyes grew a little wild, “Don’t look away.” He slowly opened his mouth, giving Sans a moment to appreciate the glowing conjured tongue hovering so near his soul. Red used the flat of his tongue to slowly lick the greatest expanse of the soul he could manage in one swipe.

Sans cried out, his grip on Red turning into a sharp drag along bone that had Red groaning in appreciation. Red took his time pressing his mouth to each side of Sans soul, lapping up the fluid that began to drip in response to his ministrations. Sans panted and dug his heels into the mattress, his entire body aflame. With Red pressed so tightly against him, he only found himself rubbing against the other, furthering the stimulation he felt throughout his bones.

He struggled to keep his eyes on Red, the pleasure blinding and overwhelming. He was trembling all over, unable to stop as Red made a show of licking him from base to tip.

“Red! ahh…! d-don’t stop… i’m-”

“Yea, honey, that’s right. I’ve got ya.” Red pulled the tip of the soul deep into his mouth and sucked against it, his tongue twisting around it as if it were a precious treat. Sans couldn’t help but clench his eyes shut as he threw his head back and a raw noise escaped him. He was pushed over the edge in a gasping, trembling mess that Red eagerly accepted.

Sans panted, exhausted, flinching with small aftershocks as Red cleaned the fluid off his soul with his tongue. When Red was content, he pressed his skull against Sans’ and kissed him. Sans could taste himself and he hummed in tired satisfaction. Red slid over so he was beside Sans, their legs still intwined. He propped himself up on one arm and gently traced the other’s cheekbone in a show of gentle affection, “Rest now. You’ve done enough.”

But Sans was still fighting it. Barely, but stubbornly resisting the pull of sleep. The instinctive fear of what he’d face when he awoke had shaken him tonight. “Hmm,” Red quietly drew forth his own soul and Sans eyelights shined in interest.

“How about ya hold onto this fer me, darlin’,” Red gently pushed his own soul into Sans, his body accepting it as readily as it would his own. “And I’ll keep this safe fer tonight,” he pulled the hovering soul into himself, it slotting perfectly into place. “That way if anythin’ happens, I’ll still be right there with ya.”

Sans pulled his arms to his sternum, as if to keep the precious gift inside. He smiled and relaxed, the warm lull of his lover’s soul pushing him to a desperately needed sleep. As Sans breathing evened out, Red flopped onto his back and grimaced. He rubbed at his sternum. He could feel the pain of the fresh crack inside him, but he was determined to take it. Sans had been through enough. Tomorrow they would try to heal it properly. But for now, Red laced his fingers through Sans’ and allowed himself to rest.

**Author's Note:**

> I think anyone who has endured multiple sleepless work nights without rest or food knows how easily things become disorienting. I've forgotten entire conversations and run on pure muscle memory as opposed to intelligent thought process. I figure this environment plus dealing with the confusion of resets is a real recipe for disaster for poor Sans.


End file.
